THG Week in Review: July

Below, our staff members take a look back on the last seven days in celebrity news and rumors - and we've certainly got a lot to talk about.

Visit our site daily and follow us on Facebook and Twitter for 24/7/365 updates. Now, for some of the top stories we covered this past week:

• The Mel Gibson tapes. Where to start? All the tapes / voicemails were recorded February 18. Oksana Grigorieva says she taped him because she feared for her life. Whether witnesses saw him attack her January 6 is the question.
• She's being treated like a common criminal in the slammer, but Lindsay Lohan may be set free as early as this weekend. She's lobbying for time with family before being shipped off to rehab following her release - don't bet on it.
• A major shakeup at American Idol leaves Randy Jackson the last judge standing, with J. Lo and Steven Tyler replacing Ellen and Kara.
• The appearance by Barack Obama on The View was mostly light, and sparked criticism from many, including former Gov. Sarah Palin.
• In other Palin news, Bristol is reportedly pissed over a report that Levi put it to Lanesia Garcia and may become a baby daddy again!

This is reportedly the new American Idol panel.

• Jon and Kate Gosselin reached a custody settlement.
• A supposed set of Angelina Jolie drug photos surfaced.
• Zac Efron did the strip club thing ... Zac Efron style.
• Justin Bieber is a sinner against God (some think).
• Kendall Jenner is all good with her bikini pics, though.
• Tiffany came to the defense of Miley. Yes, Tiffany.
• People really don't like Scott Disick as a general rule.
• Jersey Shore is back, and better/worse than ever.
• The Bachelorette ending(s) spark debate among fans.
• Mocienne Petit Jackson claimed to be MJ's love child.

Most people have Bieber Fever, but some say he's a sinner.

• Baby news about six months from today: Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr (rumored); Melissa Rycroft and Tye Strickland (confirmed).
• Couples: Alex Beh is dating Jennifer Love Hewitt; Kroy Biermann is dating Kim Zolciak; Eddie Cibrian is moving in with LeAnn Rimes.
• Wedding Bells: Linda Hogan and Charlie Hill are engaged. Hey, at least he can drink at his own wedding to the 50-year-old. Barely.

Jersey Shore Season Two Premiere Recap: Gym, Tan, Smush, Huh?

The greatness/awfulness that is Jersey Shore is back. As advertised, Season 2 features a new shore (pity Miami Beach), but the same crazy. And then some.

We were concerned that the cast's celebrity status would diminish the show's luster, but the genuineness of these characters (for better or worse) was there.

So was the entertainment. While predictable, it was great to have The Situation, Snooki, Pauly D, J-Woww, Ronnie, Sammi, Vinny and that other girl back.

Here's The Hollywood Gossip's scientific plus-minus recap ...

En route to pick up the Sitch, Pauly D sums up Northeast winters: "Can't do nothin' in this weather. Can't tan, can't creep ... Girls stay in the house." Plus 5.

A dark brown Snooki laments that she no longer tans since "Obama put a 10% tax on tanning." Pretty sure that doesn't take effect until like 2014. Minus 4.

JWoww and Snooki ridicule Angelina's self-proclaimed "Kim Kardashian of Staten Island" moniker. "With what ass?" JWoww muses. A valid point. Plus 3.

No one expected Angelina Pivarnick back this season. She awkwardly greets Pauly D and The Situation, who reluctantly let her bunk with them. Minus 1.

Down south, Snooki discovers "life-changing" fried pickles. They did look good. Plus 2. That dude in the restaurant gets a Plus 1 for his fist-pump, too.

Ronnie and Sammi reunite. The tension is thick, lame and boring. This is totally going to be a drawn-out, painful Audrina-Justin kind of thing. Minus 7.

Pauly D does a quick pro-con on the Angelina situation: She's annoying and causes drama, but there could be a slow night with no chicks, so ... Plus 18.

While the guys are awkward but mostly tolerant of Angelina, the girls are ready to full-on brawl. Holy crap, JWoww needs to lay off the steroids. Minus 5.

As a general rule, it's hard not to smile at what a blast the guys are having with this show. The girls, meanwhile, just come off miserable and catty. Even.

Cons: Annoying drama queen. Pros: Easily accessible.

Lending a hand scrubbing in the sink after a DISASTER involving Sammi’s FAVORITE white shorts, Snooki says "I feel like a pilgrim from the freakin' '20s." Plus 6.

An intoxicated Ronnie calls Sammi an "ungrateful c**t" and says she will "never f*%king win." Win what, you effing moron? Get over yourself. Minus 13.

Vinny sums up the night: "Ronnie's obliviated at this point." Plus 6.

The Situation: "Ron is at the club hooking up with grenades, which is a bigger ugly chick, and land mines, which is a thinner ugly chick, and ... loving life." Plus 11.

Sure enough, Ronnie mauls one of each. Minus 8 for the nasty close-up.

An additional Plus 12 for the previews of future episodes. Wow.

Jersey Shore's Deena Nicole: The Rundown

Jersey Shore's second season premieres tonight on MTV.

You will not be seeing Deena Nicole on it.

Still with Angelina Pivarnick out for Season 3 (she was apparently back for Season 2 after being out for Season 1), there’s room in the Seaside Heights enclave for a hot new guidette, and they've apparently found one in Snooki's friend.

Deena Nicole, real name Deena Nicole Cortese, is reportedly filming the reality show’s third season in N.J. Here's the brief rundown on her ...

Watch out, Jersey Shore. Deena Nicole has arrived.

Real Jersey girl. Unlike The Situation, Snooki, Ronnie, Vinny and Pauly D, Cortese is the real deal. She hails from New Egypt, N.J., in Ocean County. Wonder what New Jersey's Governor, who hates the show, thinks about that.

Snooki's pal. Cortese goes way back with Jersey Shore leading lady Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, according to the Newark Star-Ledger. The pickle-loving reality star even reportedly helped Cortese get cast on the show. Cute.

Single status. Before deleting her Myspace page, Cortese posted that she was a single lady. But - sorry guys - one that's currently "not looking for anything."